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 黑色郁金香 
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 黑色郁金香
找了很久的《生日快乐》,今天终于看到了,

因为之前看过预告片,知道是会催泪的那种,很想看又很怕看,

其实在前半部分观看时,都是有一种说不出的忐忑,

很奇怪,越看越平静,也许这并不是一部想让我们为男女主人公的爱情而泪目的作品,

而是让我们有机会,去审视和思考我们自己的人生,

如果你是小南,你又会做怎样的选择呢?

小南,既然你的心里只有小米,为什么不告诉她?

3年多的时间并不短,真的不是谁都会有3年的时间,

为什么不带着满满的爱、快乐和陪伴离开呢?

如果小米也一样,心里只有你,她会愿意陪你疯,陪你闹,陪你哭,陪你笑,陪你。。。。

不是什么人都能有幸在生命的尽头时,有那个想着、念着的人,

你是幸运的,只是你选择了一种让自己跌到尘埃里的方式离开。

Miserable, 我不要,也不想,

人们说,在这个世界上最有价值的东西不是stuff,而是memory,快乐的记忆,

很遗憾,我没有你那么幸运,可我又是幸运的,

我知道我要去找寻,我知道我会带上愉快的心情去追逐心中的梦想,

也许前路欢歌笑语,也许荆棘密布,我都会笑着去面对,

结果是什么,并不重要,

拜托,不要睁眼说瞎话好吗?!

好了,服了你了,给点面子嘛,当然很重要了,谁不想梦想成真呢^-^

只是我会让过程成为我生命中最美的回忆,

等着瞧吧!!

加油,你可以的!!



偶像,黑色郁金香送给你^-^,已经不记得故事内容了,只是记得是小仲马的作品,

对我来说,黑色郁金香代表的是最珍贵的爱情,

希望你我可以拥有!!

Queen of the Night

My new campname, is it cool?! ;) :D

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週一 3月 13, 2017 10:14 am
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 Re: 黑色郁金香
偶像,刚看到了部落格的首页,“大革新”,好有气势,超赞!!

今天你提到“一步一步”,

其实我要谢谢偶像,这半年多的时间,真的可以说是偶像陪伴着我“一步一步”走过来的,

你的坚持和毅力一直鼓舞着我,让我没有轻言放弃,

我知道是时候开始新的一页了,那就从名字开始吧^_^

Forget Me Not, 是我上次去camp时,队长给取的,

因为他负责在我们都非常陌生的一个城市pick me up,

他说我站在middle of nowhere的一条马路旁,给他的印象很深刻,永远不会忘记我,

而我当时却想,whatever you forget me or not? I don't care. haha

所以就Forget Me Not吧,

那次的挑战之旅真的很难忘,也可以说是一次对自我的革新,

而之后,我便有了勇气来到这里,偶像的部落格^-^

明天开始我要用新的名字继续在这里支持偶像,

陪你“一步一步”实现你的梦想,

虽然我经常会时不时的犯会儿神经,但我知偶像你拍戏很辛苦,有时还会受伤流血,

可目前我什么也做不了,只有默默的为你祝福,

还有就是,超——大——声——的,为你加油,Yeah^-^

偶像,勇往直前吧,永远支持你!!^0^ :D



Queen of the Night


週三 3月 15, 2017 4:20 am
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 Re: 黑色郁金香
刚看到一篇标题“每一个古迷都想成为你的她”,

想到一句话:“不想当将军的士兵,不是好士兵”。

在这是不是可以说:“不想当古夫人的古迷,不是好古迷”呢,哈哈 :D :D

Kidding,不想成为你的她的也可以是好古迷,想成为的也无可厚非,

大家彼此理解尊重就好。


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週二 3月 21, 2017 12:33 am
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 Re: 黑色郁金香
It has been a long day. Things are going rough. It also reminds me that how lucky I am to have all those great people take extraordinary efforts to help me out. I am very thankful and grateful.

Now I care no more whether people can understand me or not. Cause if people want to understand me, I don't need say a word. If they don't want to, no matter how much I explain can't chang a thing.

Life is short. I won't waste time on explaining myself, but just be myself and appreciate who I am. I am still learning to love myself. It sounds stupid, right, I know. :)

In fact, I also know that I should learn not to get emotional by those processes or any results. That is tough one.

Anyway, I know I am standing up for my faith, my dignity, right now in my life. And I will continue fighting, cause I am Queen of the Night, and charged with DV Super Power everyday here. Yeah!! :D :D


週三 3月 22, 2017 2:01 pm
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 Re: 黑色郁金香
凌晨五点半,我还在。。。。。。失眠好痛苦:(

真的不想靠药物,可是所有知道的其他办法都无济于事,

我该怎么办?

“天将降大任于斯人也,必先苦其心志, 劳其筋骨,饿其体肤。。。增益其所不能。”

每当遇到难以承受的痛苦时,都会在心中默念这段话,

伴我度过了一个又一个关口。

可到底给我的大任是什么?为什么是我?谁又能告诉我?

说好要控制,不要emotional,可换做任何人又能否做得到?

母亲总是不放心的一遍遍的叮嘱我,

要好好活着,要珍惜自己,要善待自己,要好好爱自己。

妈妈,我知道。。。。。。

您对女儿付出了那么多,却从不需要女儿未来能回报,只愿女儿过的开心快乐。

我世界上最最最伟大的妈妈,女儿不想让您担心,

只是,想爱自己都变得那么的触不可及。。。。。。

也许问题会很快解决,也许永远都看不到希望,我会一直fighting,

虽然过程会痛苦艰难,但苟且偷生不是女儿的个性,

女儿的执着和倔强,妈妈最知道, :P

女儿保证会努力开心快乐的过好每一天。

今夜无眠,

明天补回10小时,哈哈 :lol: :lol:

不敢让您知道,怕您担心,

还好有偶像的部落格,可以把烦恼抛下。哈^-^


Queen of the Night

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週六 4月 01, 2017 5:44 pm
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 Re: 黑色郁金香
偶像,看到你今天的“安睡”,好感动,没有忍住。。。。。。觉得好幸福^-^

只是一个巧合吗?我感到的是偶像您对我的关心,鼓励和善意的教导。

一直所深陷的,某种意义上恰恰和偶像在《明日战记》里欲表达的无独有偶,不谋而合,

此时,事情已进展到,将面临不得不实施唯一余下的、又情非得已的作战计划,

越是明白无路可退,越是感到恐惧和压力,

不只是因为,预测不到这样的孤注一掷会导致怎样的后果或影响,

更担心的是,怕因此而另我一直为之振奋努力想去close to you的梦想破灭,

我想我会无法承受那样的打击,我该做怎样的抉择?辗转反侧无法入睡。。。。。。

好傻,无谓的担忧, 我知道,不要取笑我,好吧,笑吧,我才不介意呢,哈。 8)

如果偶像未来真会因此拒我与千里之外,便不是我的soul food idol,感觉有点威胁的味道,哈 :wink:

不会再让偶像分心了,我会好好安心睡觉,恢复力气再次踏上战场。

DV,与你并肩作战,yeah!! :D :D

投之亡地自然存,置之死地而后生!!


Queen of the Night


週日 4月 02, 2017 11:27 am
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 Re: 黑色郁金香
偶像,

其实我还不曾到过影院观看你的电影,更不曾到过你的活动现场,

都不知道你是否认可我这个古迷?

完全不记得上次去影院是什么时候了,怕是很久远的事了。

每个人的成长历程都不同,五颜六色,酸甜苦辣咸。。。。。。

有时会想如果有一剂药可以忘记过往,我想我会服下。

当人生没有穿越、没有倒带,新生也许就成了唯一出路,

可又有多少人有机会新生?又有多少人能承受新生的代价?

哈,都不知道想要说服自己些什么。

未来,会怎样?看似清晰,却又虚无飘渺,唯一能确定的是,支持偶像的心,

哈,就让我,未来用行动去证明吧^-^

A Promise is A Promise!!:)


週四 4月 13, 2017 11:45 am
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 Re: 黑色郁金香
Idol, yesterday you talked about scores, the funny thing is currently what I am worried most is the numbers,

but totally different kind. That is why I said I need time to think through your words, before leave a message.

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Yes, I did it yesterday. Yeah, 8) :D

Yesterday, I made new friends, a mom and her thirteen year-old son.

She told me that no matter how bad things are going on, we should always think positive.

Her little boy is so kind and adorable. He asked her mom to pray for me together.

What a touching and amazing moment! I felt so warm and being loved.

Later, when I was "tortured" again, I was hurting and frustrated, my tears were so close to running out.

But thinking of all those loves I got, and for the first time all the numbers are good, I smiled anyway.

It is absolutely difficult, but I did it. So proud of myself. It is such a milestone physically and mentally to me, a step forward. ^-^

I definitely have more confidence to chase dreams and take adventures like what you, my soul food idol, said.

A beautiful day, for sure :D :D


週五 4月 21, 2017 1:11 am
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 Re: 黑色郁金香
Today, a friend of mine told me that she got problem. I am shocked and worried.

The good thing is that she is still calm and positive.

Even though I know how lucky I am, but I really don't like to hear people say that I am lucky.

They know nothing about me. Am I lucky?

Is there any one who would like to have the kind of luck I have? I don't think so.

Except for ourselves, no one actually know what we have been through and what we are going to confront.

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I am not a perfect person, but I know I am a good person and want always to be.

Dear God, would you please bless all people who are fighting for their lives? Thank you so much!!


週日 5月 07, 2017 1:11 pm
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 Re: 黑色郁金香
偶像,我刚刚和我妈聊天很兴奋,跑来给你留言,

哈,我妈竟然知道我的偶像是你,都不知什么时候暴露的,

估计是爸妈过来看我的那段时间,我放了好多偶像的电影和好多偶像的歌吧, 可我真的没有逼她陪我看的,才怪,哈哈

我还给我妈念了一段话,她问我是谁说的,说的非常对。

人生总会有生活艰苦难耐的时候,要咬紧牙根,坚持下去,

学会在困境中对自己说:没问题,我能应付过去。

不要以为在人前示弱,会得到同情或怜悯,身旁的人最多只能对你说一些安慰的说话,

到最终再苦也只能自己去解决,倒不如留一点尊严给自己,

要相信黑夜过去,便是黎明的来临。


我说,就是我的偶像啊,我还逼她说支持我追星,哈哈

结果,她最后说不开玩笑了,让我快去睡觉,我真的没有开玩笑的,

看我不挂电话不睡觉,她只好同意我睡觉时不许追星,醒来才追。 :D :D

我知道,不管我妈同不同意,我都会追的,只是有了最爱的人的认可,

感到特别开心和有信心,yeah,哈哈

偶像,我一定会去香港看你的。^-^


PS: 不是看,是追,哈哈,no kidding :wink: :D

Queen of the Night


週二 5月 09, 2017 11:19 am
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 Re: 黑色郁金香
Today is Mother’s Day, May 14. In last two years, even though I didn’t say it but I knew how scared I was of the date of May 14 and the month of May. During those days, I hid myself from outside world and tried my best to overlook it, to hope that time could pass by itself without my notice.

Today is May 14 again. The difference is also Mother’s Day. Is it a message that the world wants to send to me that this date could be a powerful day to me too? It is time to conquer fears and let it go. Without my mom, there is no me in this world. Without my mom, I can’t still be alive today. I love my mom from my bottom of heart. I am too shy to say “I love you mom” out loud. Nauseating words from my mouth? Come on? haha :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Actually, I am a trouble girl from the very beginning. It was not easy to give me a birth. My mom had a difficult delivery. The situation was serious and critical. Doctors asked my dad to make a decision who he wanted to save, my mom or unborn baby me? Guess what? My dad chose to save my mom. The fact is I can't understand why there is an option exist, that is ridiculous. I am so proud of my dad and so happy for my mom. As I am "no choice", I guess no matter how long and often mom and dad argue with each other, I still "no choice" but love them. :D :D

Moreover, as a matter of fact, it was not easy to raise me as well. After I was born, for a long time, my mom had to raise me and my younger brother alone, cause at that time dad served in the army. When I was kid, I was either a target attacked by boys or very naughty myself. Every time mom made me stand as punishment and pretended to use a broom to beat me, I just could not help laughing. :lol: :lol: Dad always complained that mom dote on us too much. Dad used to tell us that once mom’s colleague gave mom two candies, but mom was not willing to eat but take them home to my brother and me. I know mom loves us so so so much. Even having to pay the price of losing her job or putting her own life in danger, she always stood up for us and always protected us.

Finally, that naughty girl grew up and became an independent woman. But, life is always unexpected. It became more difficult to take care of an adult child especially at the time mom was already aging. Mom accompanied her little girl bedside every days and nights, feeding water and food to her little girl just like to feed an infant. However, most of time, there was no extra bed, the only place for mom to have a rest or sleep for minutes was a chair. Looking at all those cold poisons continuously running into her little girl’s body, mom was crying and bleeding in her heart, but still have to keep smile and show strong on her face. Mom even wanted to take her little baby’s place to suffer. Every time, when her little baby was too tired to wake up and fight, mom tried so hard to pull her baby back.

Dear Mom, you are my guardian angel. I am lucky because I have a most beautiful and greatest mom in the world. I love my mom. I don’t know if I will or want to be a mom myself in the future. I don’t know if I can give my baby all the love that mom gives to me. I don’t know if I could be strong enough to bear all kinds of pains and worries that I caused for my mom. I don’t know…….

What I know is, today I am alive because of mom’s powerful and unconditional love. I know I want to live a happy and healthy life not only for me, but for my beloved mom. Dear Mom, you are everything I want and need, so please don’t worry your baby any more. I will take good care of myself.

People like to say that “life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” Now I would like to say that I know exactly that all the rest chocolates in my box are tasty, cause I have eaten off all bad ones. Haha. :lol: :lol:

Happy Mother’s Day!! God bless all moms and their kids!! Of course, include my idol and me, yeah!! :D :D

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週日 5月 14, 2017 2:51 pm
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 Re: 黑色郁金香
Idol, I just wake up crying from dream........so sad and wronged:(

Some researches show that it is possible that people could forget those traumatic experiences or won't remember them clearly. I don't know why I still can remember them clearly. Does it mean that my traumas are not deep enough to be forgot? I don't know.

I show a happy face to people outside and make jokes with you here, sometimes I even forget how broken I am inside. Do you like the song "Hero" by Mariah Carey? I sing it whenever I have to put myself together.......

"It's a long road when you face the world alone, No one reaches out a hand for you to hold..........You can find love if you search within yourself and the emptiness you felt will disappear............"


最後由 Forget Me Not 於 週一 6月 05, 2017 9:13 am 編輯,總共編輯了 1 次。

週三 5月 31, 2017 8:48 pm
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 Re: 黑色郁金香
Idol, you are amazing!! ^-^

If I don't state it, can you feel how high I admire and adore you?

Of course, fly out of the sky, otherwise, how to reach you in DV's planet? haha :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

I am so happy for One Cool and you. You always inspire me and encourage me to keep going and become a better me. Better what? looking? ha;) You are absolutely my irreplaceable idol.

I know you are super busy, and always don't have enough time to sleep. No matter how much I desire to do anything for help, I know I am unable to at this moment, which drives me crazy.

Idol, you are the most knowledgeable and intelligent person in my mind. Therefore, I should trust you that you will take good care of yourself, will you? Why it sounds like a trap? ^-^

Ha, are you willing to fall in my trap? Happy and Healthy everyday!! :D :D


Queen of the Night


最後由 Forget Me Not 於 週一 6月 05, 2017 4:17 am 編輯,總共編輯了 1 次。

週六 6月 03, 2017 11:56 am
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 Re: 黑色郁金香
Living in fear.......<In memory of a lovely friend>

I just knew that you will not celebrate your birthday tomorrow. After we talked last month, I was thinking to visit you, but I hesitate to do so. I know I won't want to see anyone if I were in the same situation. So, I decided not to disturb you. I planned to call you or sent messages to you tomorrow. It came out too late.........

I have cooked lunch, but can't eat. When I saw my idol blog, I can't stand any more, but break down. I want to write something in memory of you, my dear friend. It is too early and too soon.......

You are such a nice lady and good battle companion. You always have a smile on your face. We often updated our situations with each other and encouraged each other. We hang out in club and events. Every time when we left club together, you always swiped your commuter card for me first, then walked to a farther train station to get home.

You are such a sweetheart, always willing to help others. Even at the time you can't do volunteer yourself any more, you still tried to help find new hands. You told our friends that it was me to inspire you to become a volunteer. But It was you, you were the person who did all those helps in such an excellent manner. I am so proud of you.

You like cheongsam. You invited me to join the cheongsam club with you, which I didn't. It is really not my thing. I knew you understood. Honestly, you looked stunning in it. I am so glad that you found joy in the recent spring parade. You know, you always surprised me. When you told me that you had gone to Las Vegas and Florida, you can't imagine how admiring I was. You are so brave and optimistic.

I don't know what kind of mood I should have to react the fact that you have gone. At the very beginning, we already know that we have to live in fear for our rest of life. Now you are in a better place, a place peace and bright. You no longer live in fear.........

I know I need to keep fighting. I know I will never give up myself. I have so many dreams not achieve yet. My fighting is going on and on..........



Queen of the Night

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週一 6月 05, 2017 4:10 am
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註冊時間: 週三 6月 29, 2016 12:01 pm
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文章 Re: 黑色郁金香
Idol,你今天問的問題“人性本善,還是人性本惡?”

我真的沒有答案,但卻讓我思考了一些事情。。。。。。

曾經有人對我說我若不信某某教,死後就會下地獄,原本想信的心,瞬間冰冷,我想我此生都不會信哪個教了。我同意,不是所有信某某教的人都像這個人一樣的想法,但我知道我不願意與之為伍。威嚇,也只會對膽怯、懦弱的人有效。

其實,人類發展進步到了今天,相信無論是大到輸出一種政體、宗教、文化、價值觀,小到實施一項社會政策、公益活動,能讓人們感受到溫暖、愛、希望,才更可能被接受。

然而,當人們的價值觀裡溫暖、愛、希望的比重微不足道的時候,又會是怎樣的狀況呢?

不久前,和一華裔機構討論一個公益項目時,被問到如果讓大家支持,大家可以得到什麼好處和利益?無語凝噎,可以說真的問倒我了,我真的沒有考慮過,我也不知道為什麼要拿一個公益項目用商業角度衡量,如果拯救他人的生命,令到他人看到希望、感到溫暖,不能令人們感到驕傲滿足,不能令一個機構為能回饋社會、履行社會責任感到欣喜的話,倒是實實在在的令我感受到了那種“路曼曼其修遠兮,吾將上下而求索”的心境。華裔和中國人在公益發展上真是有好長的路要走。

這裡必須要表達一下我對偶像的崇敬之情,Idol,你是我心中的最最最帥的英雄,好愛好愛你啊,哈哈,偶像,我真的是認真的,發自內心的^-^

當我們說中西差異時,首先會想到的是吃、穿、住、行上的,然而人生觀、價值觀上的差異反倒常常被忽視。在好萊塢,我們能不斷的看到超人、蜘蛛俠、鋼鐵俠、蝙蝠俠、美國隊長,各種英雄人物輪番上演,讓小小年紀的孩子們就充滿英雄情結。而反觀中國呢,算上遙遠的武俠世界裡有一兩個大俠人物,就只有學習雷鋒好榜樣了,英雄情結,索的,豈不要被別人恥笑走火入魔,哈,不知道,我也正在探討,究竟都是什麼因素造成了這些差異?而在中國又能否有轉機,趕超呢?

沒有哪個國家、社會、或個人是完善、完美的,只有願意檢視,願意取長補短,才可能進步發展。說到個人,曾經也遇到衰人說“哪來回哪”種族歧視的話,儘管明知哪種人不值得生氣,可還是很難平復心情,所以一直不會刻意減重,而是盡量強身健體,令自己頤指氣使不可侵犯,把禮貌、謙遜統統收起,只對值得對待的人。哈,現在的我不只學會對自以為是的人翻白眼,最近還想到了一句回敬的話,想想還蠻開心的,哈,如果下次再讓我聽到歧視的話,無論對我還是對別人說,我都會回敬,

“Where are you from? heaven or hell? How about you go back heaven or hell first? otherwise, back off!!" -V2

(無論我心裡多想,我猜我都沒辦法說出不文明的詞語,哈,所以,還是修正一下吧,希望偶像能理解之前那句,而不是被吓到,我絕對是乖fans來著,哈哈^o^)


對什麼人,就用什麼方式,中國有句俗語:“秀才遇到兵,有理說不清”。雞同鴨講,又何必呢?我想,我既可以做秀才,也不介意做兵。看遇到的對方是什麼了?兵,就用兵的招式;秀才,就用秀才的招式。呀,一不小心洩漏了個秘密。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。我武功高強,集各家之大成,哈哈 :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

有句特別喜歡的歌詞想和偶像分享,

”Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you,

Love, you are not alone, cause I'm gonna stand by you."

如果不能讓我們現在活著的世界變得更美好,去天堂和地獄又有何區別?



Queen of the Night


週日 6月 25, 2017 10:53 am
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